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(re)focus

Happy New Year! Bonne Année! Selamat Tahun Baru!

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I suppose this signals another yearly recap is due. Did I learn and did I make mistakes in 2014? A-plenty! Did I go off (life) tangent and lose sight of goals that I’ve set for myself? Ab-solutely! Did I carry bagfuls of regrets and mutter sorries along the way? Nope!

I refuse to wallow in laments for things I cannot change.

2014 was a bit of a funny year. Initially intended for deliberate learning on a number of specific new skills/knowledge, I veered off into one where I delved into another academic domain and putting together different hats from my past in order to pull off my present (and future) position. I juggled with new jargons, organisations, people and information. It was intense, not to mention chaotic at times, and while there are days I still feel like a fraud, I also learned more about myself everyday.

Importantly, I learned to focus on things that matter and to let go of hopeless habits. Many of these are obvious but it has taken me some time to turn them into reality. I now leave work at work when I clock out (except at truly critical points), not checking work emails on personal devices, accept that I could not project my perfectionism unto anyone but myself, speak surely, keep the laptop and the iPad out of the bedroom, not taking for granted the company of my loved ones yet take time out just for myself, spend limited time on social media and finding it liberating, among many others.

I still need to work on self-discipline though.

Now, what about those aimed learnings of the past year, you ask?

(1) I started on Python but ended up putting it aside to organise an international conference. (2) My grasp of French is much improved but sadly, still lack the fluency I’d like to achieve. Plus no time to take the competency exam either. (3) I started to knit, but couldn’t for the life of me figure out how to continue the basic throw into something fancy. Maybe my French is not as good as I thought? (Ah yes, my knitting guidebook is in French!) (4) I took more photos than ever, discovered hidden functions, but getting frustrated too because I feel my photography is, well, stagnating. (5) Still working through the book, and whatever little I could manage was put to decent use during our holiday in Italy! (6) Self-practice is not working out so well for me, so I should get back to more lessons.

Since I’ve started on these endeavours, I’m going to continue at it, of course. However, at the core of 2015, is an overriding call to refocus. I must bear in mind that I have a list of 101-goals to achieve – due in less than 400 days – and clearly, I should be progressing farther along than what I’ve managed so far. I’ve largely neglected this (very ambitious) list last year while taking care of my career front, so immediate remedy is required.

Another aspect I need to refocus on is this blog itself. I became sloppy at keeping up my own schedule and let a whole lot of things took precedence (another self-discipline issue). I hope to run a quick catch up in the coming weeks. I’ve spent much time over the holidays processing the photos which will accompany the posts. Now, it’s time to write, write, write!

As much as I tried to shave off reading time, it was just impossible to shake off the thirst for another book to read. I doubled the number of English reads than planned, but running shy of half a French book to call it a truly successful attempt at The Big Read 2014. I really should have worked harder at that French book, shouldn’t I, instead of procrastinating with *more* English books? Will I be able to make a targeted tally of 30 books this year, 20 in English and 10 in French, remains to be seen.

Let’s take a break here, and I promise to be back soon with more news. In the mean time, I wish you a wonderful start to 2015, and may there be love and good health filled in every nooks and corners of your life.



Category: Musing

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6 scribbles & notes

  1. Céline says:

    Have a happy new year, Lilian ! This has been a busy year for you so don’t be too harsh with yourself ;)

    • Lil says:

      Bonne année Céline!

      I know, it’s the self-criticism that’s hard to get past sometimes, so I’m slowly finding the balance ;)

  2. med says:

    Happeeeyyy new year Lil ;) think you have done well so give yourself a pat on the back and let’s rock 2015!!!!
    Continue taking and sharing awesome pics yah hehehe

  3. sila says:

    belated happy new year lil. i know we’ve talked about this, so it’s a bit repetitious, but go easy on yourself. be happy! :)

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